Old Blog Post - AJ's First Birthday!

Written on January 15, 2009:

As a child, you become friends with boys and occasionally one or two of them might make you think you're "in love". I know I had my fair share of these moments, and I was CONVINCED I knew what love was the day I became Adam's girlfriend. It's one of those feelings that you are just so sure of inside and nothing can or will come close to changing that. I have, do, and always will love my husband with an unconditional love because he has blessed my life (and his own) with a kind of love that I cannot even begin to describe in words. His name is AJ.

One year ago today, I was laying in a hospital bed anticipating the birth and arrival of the newest member of our family. There was a huge mix of emotions sweeping through my body as I anxiously waited to meet my son. I simply couldn't wait to see his little face. Would he look like me? Would he have his daddy's blue eyes? Months of waiting turned into weeks, weeks turned into days, days turned into hours.... and hours turned into minutes. I will never, ever in my entire life forget those precious minutes when AJ entered into this world. When people tell you motherhood is such an amazing experience, they aren't emphasizing it enough.

About an hour ago, I sat in AJ's room with my son in my arms, rocking my baby to sleep for the last time as a baby. Tomorrow when he wakes up, he will be an official toddler. In my heart, he will ALWAYS be my little baby. But when it comes down to it, once you're one, you're a big boy! AJ's birthday is a huge celebration of who he is and who he has grown into. But not only am I celebrating his first year of life, I am also celebrating a very personal milestone of my own. I nursed, fed, changed, consoled, cried with, played with, and continue to teach this little boy everything I possibly could, as best as I could. Not only have Adam and I given AJ so much in life, but he has given me so much more in return than I could have ever imagined possible. He has turned me into a much more patient and understanding person. He has taught me what life looks like when you're a little over 2 feet tall. (And let me tell you, it's a whole new world down there!) But most of all, he taught me a love that I never imagined possible. To say that I love him is an absolute understatement. He takes the word love to a whole new level.

Adam and I sat down earlier today and talked about all that has happened through the last 364 days in our life. We went through nursing, pumping, 2 months of colic, first colds, shots, feeding from spoons, solids, crawling, scooting, teething, sleepless nights, dirrrrrty diapers, laughing, smiling, and walking..... and that's just jotting some things down. There was so much more in between there, but I'll save that for the baby book. Anyways, as Adam I talked, we both came to the conclusion that AJ is so much more than we expected out of life. He lights up our life with his sweet smiles, his affectionate hugs, and his thoughtful gestures. In spite of all of the mistakes Adam and I might have made in life, we must have done something right to be blessed with such an amazing little boy we call our own.

I am sad because once that clock hits 5:54am, my son will be one year old. I am sad because I wish I could keep him this young, little baby of mine as a baby just a little longer - but I know I can't. I know that our journey with AJ has so much more in store for us, and as much as I want to say that I can't wait for it all - I can. Because I've noticed the more I say I can't wait for something, the faster it comes, and when it comes to AJ growing up, I want to keep him little.

Happy 1st Birthday, AJ. You are the light of my life, and give the word love a whole new meaning. Thank you for all you have done for me, and for helping me figure out who I am in this big, big world. I never thought somebody so little could change my life so much, but you sure did. I love you with all of my heart....and then some. And this will never, ever change. I can promise you that.

xoxo, Your Mama