Loving Two

**This is something I posted on my Facebook a while ago, but I wanted to remember it in years to come, so I am posting it here. If you have read it, then read it again. haha.

Everything about Aiden was planned.

We knew we wanted to give AJ the gift of a sibling to grow up with and someone to share his life with. We knew we wanted to expand our family and share the love we have with our kids for the rest of our lives. What I didn't realize was that the closer we get to meeting Aiden, the more sadness I feel because I know our days of giving AJ all of our attention are numbered. I hate to say I feel guilty, but it's almost as if I do. I don't want AJ to resent me for bringing someone new into our family. Someone who would be more demanding of my time and would have to share my lap when we cuddle. I am beyond overjoyed to be having another baby and am so blessed by such an amazing little gift, but I have been struggling with this feeling the past few days. I just stumbled upon this email I got from a good friend a while back and it immediately brought me peace and comfort. I'm posting this because I know that many of my friends are pregnant with their second child and will be experiencing these same emotions. (My doctor said they are COMPLETELY normal, by the way! Phew!) But if this message could bring you as much comfort as it did me, I would love to share it. So here it is:

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as youve never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I cant, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. Im afraid to let you see me enjoying him, as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times - only now, we are three.

I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how he adores you - as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I havent taken something from you, Ive given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.

And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you - only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know youll never share my love. Theres enough of that for both of you - you each have your own supply.

I love you - both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

-Author Unknown