The *new* blog posts you see below are new for this blog... but they are actually old posts I made in an old blog I don't keep anymore. I wanted to treasure and keep them forever, so I moved them over here.
Re-reading them made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside because I can still reach deep inside my heart and remember those exact feelings I was writing about.
This is why I love to blog!
Enjoy!
Mama Brown(ie)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Old Blog Post: October 1, 2007
When you think about it, It's crazy how...
* You spend 6 years of life jumping over the back wall of your parents house just to see him, and all of a sudden together you buy your first home.
* You never thought he would mutter the word "marriage" and then he vows his love to you for life in front of over 100 family and friends.
* You still learn something new everyday about someone you've been with for so long.
* The minute you learn you're pregnant, your entire life changes.
* One minute you're shopping online for the latest purse, and the next minute you're comparing diapers.
* Your crush turns into your boyfriend who turns into your fiancee who turns into your husband who turns into the father of your child.... all while being your bestest friend.
* You still rush home to see him and he still gives you butterflies.
* Growing a baby inside you makes you feel so much more in tune with your body.
* You develop new respect for your parents once you learn you're becoming one.
* You watch your dad go from uninterested to scared to ecstatic about his new grandson. And it even makes you smile when he is concerned about things you do while being pregnant.
* You try to use the baby as an excuse to eat everything in sight. (Hey... works for me!) :-)
* You realize how much your family truly means to you... and how minimal other things in life are.
* Feeling your babies' movement inside makes you literally stop what you're doing and smile.
* You realize that the people who truly love you are still reading this, because these thoughts are so random! :-)
I could go on and on but I won't... maybe in the next edition of "What's On Angie's Mind!"
:-)
* You spend 6 years of life jumping over the back wall of your parents house just to see him, and all of a sudden together you buy your first home.
* You never thought he would mutter the word "marriage" and then he vows his love to you for life in front of over 100 family and friends.
* You still learn something new everyday about someone you've been with for so long.
* The minute you learn you're pregnant, your entire life changes.
* One minute you're shopping online for the latest purse, and the next minute you're comparing diapers.
* Your crush turns into your boyfriend who turns into your fiancee who turns into your husband who turns into the father of your child.... all while being your bestest friend.
* You still rush home to see him and he still gives you butterflies.
* Growing a baby inside you makes you feel so much more in tune with your body.
* You develop new respect for your parents once you learn you're becoming one.
* You watch your dad go from uninterested to scared to ecstatic about his new grandson. And it even makes you smile when he is concerned about things you do while being pregnant.
* You try to use the baby as an excuse to eat everything in sight. (Hey... works for me!) :-)
* You realize how much your family truly means to you... and how minimal other things in life are.
* Feeling your babies' movement inside makes you literally stop what you're doing and smile.
* You realize that the people who truly love you are still reading this, because these thoughts are so random! :-)
I could go on and on but I won't... maybe in the next edition of "What's On Angie's Mind!"
:-)
Old Blog Post: January 2, 2008
Almost 3 days into 2008, I'm taking a look back at 2007 and counting all my blessings for the most life changing year of my life.
2007 was nothing but wonderful for Adam and I, and I don't even know where to start. The first 3 months went by in the biggest blur with last minute wedding detail appointments, an amazing Bridal Shower for me with nothing but close family, friends, and more laughter than you can imagine, a memorable Bachelorette Party, our first dance lessons for Adam and I, and preparation for the biggest, most important day of our lives. April was also a month of personal victory for me. The day before our wedding, I reached my weight loss goal of losing 70 pounds before our wedding day. I always struggled with diets, but I was determined to do this, and I did. I'm not trying to boast, but I honestly am still to this day so proud of myself for being as strong as I was, and making it happen. Go Angie!
April 14th came faster than I expected it to. We went from months, to weeks, to days, to hours, to minutes… and to seconds. I will never in my life forget the emotion I felt while standing at the end of the church aisle, holding onto my daddy's arm, and seeing the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with, waiting for me. (That, and seeing the other 50+ people that were there to witness this!) Our wedding day was more magical than I could have ever dreamed it would be. Every dream I had as a little girl came true before my very eyes. Becoming Mrs. Angelica Brown wouldn't have been half the day it was without the support of all of our family and friends. It's one of those things you truly appreciate more once you get older. Just seeing all the people you know and love come together to celebrate our love was absolutely incredible. I would re-live it all in a heartbeat. I thank god everyday to be so blessed with such wonderful friends and family.
In May, Adam and I found out we were expecting our first baby. (It was Lacy's birthday! I'll never forget the date!) Although the reality was initially a little frightening for both of us, the thought of bringing a tiny little person into this world was enough to make our hearts melt. It was a step in our lives that we were both ready for.
The next few months were spent battling the grueling Las Vegas heat, and preparing for our little miracle. It was at this point that I realized how important my friendships and relationships were. I couldn't get through this pregnancy without the knowledge and advice from Jewell, the ear to listen from Brittney (a fellow preggers friend at the time), the excitement from Vicky, the weekly newsletter sharings with Jackie, and the love and support from my family. I watched my dad go from emotionless when he found out he was becoming a grandpa, to happy, to excited, to now the proudest grandpa to be out there. I know women go through this on a daily basis, but I truly believe that out of everything amazing in this pregnancy, the most incredible internal emotion has stemmed from the closeness I share with my family now. Nothing can compare to the feeling of little feet kicking into your ribs, or little flutters to let you know he's awake and moving around, or the little baby hiccups you feel that you can't even describe.
Our little miracle is estimated to arrive sometime within the next 3 weeks. It's all in his hands, and as much as I can't wait to meet my son, look into his eyes, hold his little hand, and kiss his little feet… I'm going to miss him living inside my body. I'm going to miss Adam's sparkle in his eye every single time he feels AJ move… it's so cute to see him talk to our baby through my belly and see him light up when the little man responds! Being pregnant is truly a blessing in every sense of the word. I have learned to appreciate my own mom so much more than I ever did, because we now have this bond, this experience that wasn't there before. For those of you who plan on having kids eventually in the future – you'll see what I mean! And when that time comes, you'll realize just how precious life is!
Anyways... 2007 wouldn't have been as awesome as it was without the love and support of the special people in our lives. It would take me all night to list names, so I won't get into that, but you all know who you are. We love you!!!
Now come on out Little AJ! We're all waiting to meet you!
2007 was nothing but wonderful for Adam and I, and I don't even know where to start. The first 3 months went by in the biggest blur with last minute wedding detail appointments, an amazing Bridal Shower for me with nothing but close family, friends, and more laughter than you can imagine, a memorable Bachelorette Party, our first dance lessons for Adam and I, and preparation for the biggest, most important day of our lives. April was also a month of personal victory for me. The day before our wedding, I reached my weight loss goal of losing 70 pounds before our wedding day. I always struggled with diets, but I was determined to do this, and I did. I'm not trying to boast, but I honestly am still to this day so proud of myself for being as strong as I was, and making it happen. Go Angie!
April 14th came faster than I expected it to. We went from months, to weeks, to days, to hours, to minutes… and to seconds. I will never in my life forget the emotion I felt while standing at the end of the church aisle, holding onto my daddy's arm, and seeing the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with, waiting for me. (That, and seeing the other 50+ people that were there to witness this!) Our wedding day was more magical than I could have ever dreamed it would be. Every dream I had as a little girl came true before my very eyes. Becoming Mrs. Angelica Brown wouldn't have been half the day it was without the support of all of our family and friends. It's one of those things you truly appreciate more once you get older. Just seeing all the people you know and love come together to celebrate our love was absolutely incredible. I would re-live it all in a heartbeat. I thank god everyday to be so blessed with such wonderful friends and family.
In May, Adam and I found out we were expecting our first baby. (It was Lacy's birthday! I'll never forget the date!) Although the reality was initially a little frightening for both of us, the thought of bringing a tiny little person into this world was enough to make our hearts melt. It was a step in our lives that we were both ready for.
The next few months were spent battling the grueling Las Vegas heat, and preparing for our little miracle. It was at this point that I realized how important my friendships and relationships were. I couldn't get through this pregnancy without the knowledge and advice from Jewell, the ear to listen from Brittney (a fellow preggers friend at the time), the excitement from Vicky, the weekly newsletter sharings with Jackie, and the love and support from my family. I watched my dad go from emotionless when he found out he was becoming a grandpa, to happy, to excited, to now the proudest grandpa to be out there. I know women go through this on a daily basis, but I truly believe that out of everything amazing in this pregnancy, the most incredible internal emotion has stemmed from the closeness I share with my family now. Nothing can compare to the feeling of little feet kicking into your ribs, or little flutters to let you know he's awake and moving around, or the little baby hiccups you feel that you can't even describe.
Our little miracle is estimated to arrive sometime within the next 3 weeks. It's all in his hands, and as much as I can't wait to meet my son, look into his eyes, hold his little hand, and kiss his little feet… I'm going to miss him living inside my body. I'm going to miss Adam's sparkle in his eye every single time he feels AJ move… it's so cute to see him talk to our baby through my belly and see him light up when the little man responds! Being pregnant is truly a blessing in every sense of the word. I have learned to appreciate my own mom so much more than I ever did, because we now have this bond, this experience that wasn't there before. For those of you who plan on having kids eventually in the future – you'll see what I mean! And when that time comes, you'll realize just how precious life is!
Anyways... 2007 wouldn't have been as awesome as it was without the love and support of the special people in our lives. It would take me all night to list names, so I won't get into that, but you all know who you are. We love you!!!
Now come on out Little AJ! We're all waiting to meet you!
Old Blog Post: November 12, 2008
Another old blog post from November 12, 2008:
I simply love this time of year. I love the colors of the leaves changing. I love taking a walk on a brisk evening and having to throw on a sweater and crunch through leaves on the sidewalk. I love the color and sight of pumpkins in front of homes. I love the smell of pumpkin spice and nutmeg in familiar stores. Fall always signifies the start of the holiday season for me. And nothing could make me happier.
A certain calm takes over my body when that calendar hits October. It's really unexplainable. I'm not nervous about our seasonal huge snowfall, or dreading the summer heat. Fall brings with it the perfect weather. There is just something so calming about this time of year. (Or maybe it's just my excitement for some damn turkey!)
Holidays always bring out the best in people. I'm thankful for my blessings on a daily basis, but right about now is when I feel truly sentimental towards the cards I've been dealt in my life. This has been an amazing year for our family. To say we are "blessed" is an absolute understatement. Our beautiful baby boy will be one whole year old in just about 2 months. How did this happen so quickly? I couldn't even tell you. Honestly, time has never flown so fast for me! I try to keep up as best as I can, and AJ makes that so easy to do with that beautiful, bright, beaming smile he shoots me everytime I catch his eye!
This Thanksgiving I am again thankful for my other half in this world. I'm thankful that I was able to find somebody so perfect for me, and somebody who does such a great job loving me as I am, and as hard as it may sometimes be. I'm thankful for an amazing beyond words family that has never disappointed me, or let me down. I am thankful for a magnificent sister for me, and truly wonderful aunt for my son. I am thankful for the roof over our head, and the meals on our table. I am thankful for the wonderful folks down at Local Union Hall 525 for keeping my husband employed and paying him so well that I can stay home and witness the miracle of raising our son. I am thankful for the education I am able to pursue, and that I have the resources necessary to make my dreams come true. I am thankful for our health, which gives us strength to make each day happen. I am thankful for my fellow mommies who have helped me get through sleepless nights,teething, playtimes,colic, and feeding. Without your help,I would be one frazzled mess! I am also thankful for all my friends who continue to be here for me throughout my triumphs and sadnesses. I'm thankful for the gift of forgiveness because without it, I would be a sad, lonely person. I'm thankful that our country has been able to look past the color of someone's skin and elected the very first African American president. And mostly, I am thankful for the faith I have in an incredible God. He blessed me with a tiny little boy with a strong heart, and straight bones. He gave me a title that I proudly wear on my sleeve. (Literally, there is probably drool, milk, or spit on my clothes, somewhere!) I'm not much of a preacher, and I don't go to church nearly as much as I should (although I'm getting better!), but I truly do believe that my faith in him has led my life where it is. I'm also thankful for any of you people who are still reading this to the very last word :-)
With that said... make sure you take a minute to acknowledge all the things in your life you're thankful for. It will leave you feeling warm and fuzzy inside. And enjoy some turkey! I know I sure will!
Gobble Till You Wobble!
I simply love this time of year. I love the colors of the leaves changing. I love taking a walk on a brisk evening and having to throw on a sweater and crunch through leaves on the sidewalk. I love the color and sight of pumpkins in front of homes. I love the smell of pumpkin spice and nutmeg in familiar stores. Fall always signifies the start of the holiday season for me. And nothing could make me happier.
A certain calm takes over my body when that calendar hits October. It's really unexplainable. I'm not nervous about our seasonal huge snowfall, or dreading the summer heat. Fall brings with it the perfect weather. There is just something so calming about this time of year. (Or maybe it's just my excitement for some damn turkey!)
Holidays always bring out the best in people. I'm thankful for my blessings on a daily basis, but right about now is when I feel truly sentimental towards the cards I've been dealt in my life. This has been an amazing year for our family. To say we are "blessed" is an absolute understatement. Our beautiful baby boy will be one whole year old in just about 2 months. How did this happen so quickly? I couldn't even tell you. Honestly, time has never flown so fast for me! I try to keep up as best as I can, and AJ makes that so easy to do with that beautiful, bright, beaming smile he shoots me everytime I catch his eye!
This Thanksgiving I am again thankful for my other half in this world. I'm thankful that I was able to find somebody so perfect for me, and somebody who does such a great job loving me as I am, and as hard as it may sometimes be. I'm thankful for an amazing beyond words family that has never disappointed me, or let me down. I am thankful for a magnificent sister for me, and truly wonderful aunt for my son. I am thankful for the roof over our head, and the meals on our table. I am thankful for the wonderful folks down at Local Union Hall 525 for keeping my husband employed and paying him so well that I can stay home and witness the miracle of raising our son. I am thankful for the education I am able to pursue, and that I have the resources necessary to make my dreams come true. I am thankful for our health, which gives us strength to make each day happen. I am thankful for my fellow mommies who have helped me get through sleepless nights,teething, playtimes,colic, and feeding. Without your help,I would be one frazzled mess! I am also thankful for all my friends who continue to be here for me throughout my triumphs and sadnesses. I'm thankful for the gift of forgiveness because without it, I would be a sad, lonely person. I'm thankful that our country has been able to look past the color of someone's skin and elected the very first African American president. And mostly, I am thankful for the faith I have in an incredible God. He blessed me with a tiny little boy with a strong heart, and straight bones. He gave me a title that I proudly wear on my sleeve. (Literally, there is probably drool, milk, or spit on my clothes, somewhere!) I'm not much of a preacher, and I don't go to church nearly as much as I should (although I'm getting better!), but I truly do believe that my faith in him has led my life where it is. I'm also thankful for any of you people who are still reading this to the very last word :-)
With that said... make sure you take a minute to acknowledge all the things in your life you're thankful for. It will leave you feeling warm and fuzzy inside. And enjoy some turkey! I know I sure will!
Gobble Till You Wobble!
Old Blog Post - AJ's First Birthday!
Written on January 15, 2009:
As a child, you become friends with boys and occasionally one or two of them might make you think you're "in love". I know I had my fair share of these moments, and I was CONVINCED I knew what love was the day I became Adam's girlfriend. It's one of those feelings that you are just so sure of inside and nothing can or will come close to changing that. I have, do, and always will love my husband with an unconditional love because he has blessed my life (and his own) with a kind of love that I cannot even begin to describe in words. His name is AJ.
One year ago today, I was laying in a hospital bed anticipating the birth and arrival of the newest member of our family. There was a huge mix of emotions sweeping through my body as I anxiously waited to meet my son. I simply couldn't wait to see his little face. Would he look like me? Would he have his daddy's blue eyes? Months of waiting turned into weeks, weeks turned into days, days turned into hours.... and hours turned into minutes. I will never, ever in my entire life forget those precious minutes when AJ entered into this world. When people tell you motherhood is such an amazing experience, they aren't emphasizing it enough.
About an hour ago, I sat in AJ's room with my son in my arms, rocking my baby to sleep for the last time as a baby. Tomorrow when he wakes up, he will be an official toddler. In my heart, he will ALWAYS be my little baby. But when it comes down to it, once you're one, you're a big boy! AJ's birthday is a huge celebration of who he is and who he has grown into. But not only am I celebrating his first year of life, I am also celebrating a very personal milestone of my own. I nursed, fed, changed, consoled, cried with, played with, and continue to teach this little boy everything I possibly could, as best as I could. Not only have Adam and I given AJ so much in life, but he has given me so much more in return than I could have ever imagined possible. He has turned me into a much more patient and understanding person. He has taught me what life looks like when you're a little over 2 feet tall. (And let me tell you, it's a whole new world down there!) But most of all, he taught me a love that I never imagined possible. To say that I love him is an absolute understatement. He takes the word love to a whole new level.
Adam and I sat down earlier today and talked about all that has happened through the last 364 days in our life. We went through nursing, pumping, 2 months of colic, first colds, shots, feeding from spoons, solids, crawling, scooting, teething, sleepless nights, dirrrrrty diapers, laughing, smiling, and walking..... and that's just jotting some things down. There was so much more in between there, but I'll save that for the baby book. Anyways, as Adam I talked, we both came to the conclusion that AJ is so much more than we expected out of life. He lights up our life with his sweet smiles, his affectionate hugs, and his thoughtful gestures. In spite of all of the mistakes Adam and I might have made in life, we must have done something right to be blessed with such an amazing little boy we call our own.
I am sad because once that clock hits 5:54am, my son will be one year old. I am sad because I wish I could keep him this young, little baby of mine as a baby just a little longer - but I know I can't. I know that our journey with AJ has so much more in store for us, and as much as I want to say that I can't wait for it all - I can. Because I've noticed the more I say I can't wait for something, the faster it comes, and when it comes to AJ growing up, I want to keep him little.
Happy 1st Birthday, AJ. You are the light of my life, and give the word love a whole new meaning. Thank you for all you have done for me, and for helping me figure out who I am in this big, big world. I never thought somebody so little could change my life so much, but you sure did. I love you with all of my heart....and then some. And this will never, ever change. I can promise you that.
xoxo, Your Mama
As a child, you become friends with boys and occasionally one or two of them might make you think you're "in love". I know I had my fair share of these moments, and I was CONVINCED I knew what love was the day I became Adam's girlfriend. It's one of those feelings that you are just so sure of inside and nothing can or will come close to changing that. I have, do, and always will love my husband with an unconditional love because he has blessed my life (and his own) with a kind of love that I cannot even begin to describe in words. His name is AJ.
One year ago today, I was laying in a hospital bed anticipating the birth and arrival of the newest member of our family. There was a huge mix of emotions sweeping through my body as I anxiously waited to meet my son. I simply couldn't wait to see his little face. Would he look like me? Would he have his daddy's blue eyes? Months of waiting turned into weeks, weeks turned into days, days turned into hours.... and hours turned into minutes. I will never, ever in my entire life forget those precious minutes when AJ entered into this world. When people tell you motherhood is such an amazing experience, they aren't emphasizing it enough.
About an hour ago, I sat in AJ's room with my son in my arms, rocking my baby to sleep for the last time as a baby. Tomorrow when he wakes up, he will be an official toddler. In my heart, he will ALWAYS be my little baby. But when it comes down to it, once you're one, you're a big boy! AJ's birthday is a huge celebration of who he is and who he has grown into. But not only am I celebrating his first year of life, I am also celebrating a very personal milestone of my own. I nursed, fed, changed, consoled, cried with, played with, and continue to teach this little boy everything I possibly could, as best as I could. Not only have Adam and I given AJ so much in life, but he has given me so much more in return than I could have ever imagined possible. He has turned me into a much more patient and understanding person. He has taught me what life looks like when you're a little over 2 feet tall. (And let me tell you, it's a whole new world down there!) But most of all, he taught me a love that I never imagined possible. To say that I love him is an absolute understatement. He takes the word love to a whole new level.
Adam and I sat down earlier today and talked about all that has happened through the last 364 days in our life. We went through nursing, pumping, 2 months of colic, first colds, shots, feeding from spoons, solids, crawling, scooting, teething, sleepless nights, dirrrrrty diapers, laughing, smiling, and walking..... and that's just jotting some things down. There was so much more in between there, but I'll save that for the baby book. Anyways, as Adam I talked, we both came to the conclusion that AJ is so much more than we expected out of life. He lights up our life with his sweet smiles, his affectionate hugs, and his thoughtful gestures. In spite of all of the mistakes Adam and I might have made in life, we must have done something right to be blessed with such an amazing little boy we call our own.
I am sad because once that clock hits 5:54am, my son will be one year old. I am sad because I wish I could keep him this young, little baby of mine as a baby just a little longer - but I know I can't. I know that our journey with AJ has so much more in store for us, and as much as I want to say that I can't wait for it all - I can. Because I've noticed the more I say I can't wait for something, the faster it comes, and when it comes to AJ growing up, I want to keep him little.
Happy 1st Birthday, AJ. You are the light of my life, and give the word love a whole new meaning. Thank you for all you have done for me, and for helping me figure out who I am in this big, big world. I never thought somebody so little could change my life so much, but you sure did. I love you with all of my heart....and then some. And this will never, ever change. I can promise you that.
xoxo, Your Mama
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
To teach, or not to teach? That is the question!
I suppose you can call me a nerd.
Here we are in the second to last week of August. What does this mean, nationwide? It's almost Fall, yes. Christmas is right around the corner, yes. Oooh! Halloween? Yes... but no. I'm talking about back to school people!
This is officially the first semester since 2003 that I haven't been in school. (Well, I take that back. I took one semester off when AJ was born. Let's not count that one though.) So everyone is back to school.... except for me. I'm actually kinda-almost-sorta sad about this. This is where the nerdy name calling comes in. Get this: I actually ENJOYED school the past 4 semesters. Yikes! How does that happen? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I truly enjoyed all of my education classes. I enjoyed creating lesson plans, teaching lessons, preparing materials, researching fun activities... and now it's all done with. Just like that. But at least I have a Bachelor's Degree to show for it all.
Which brings me to my next point. Earlier this week I went in and helped my cooperating teacher (from my student teaching) set up her new classroom. :: Cue depression.:: Being in the midst of the excitement of the new school year preparation reminded me of how badly I wish I was setting up my OWN classroom. I have so many cute ideas for my own classroom and at this point, who knows when I will put them to use?
Now that school is starting in one week, (unless there is some miracle of God from CCSD), I'm pretty much out of the running for a teaching position for the 2010-2011 school year. I've been saying that if a position was offered to me, that I would take it... but then I think about how much I missed out on being home with AJ and Aiden while I student taught. It's such a difficult decision for me. I find myself getting all gung-ho and searching for teaching positions in private schools as well as public schools and then I realize that I haven't thought it through all the way. What would I do with the boys? How would the boys do without mama all day long?
I have a few short/long-term goals in mind as far as teaching goes:
1.) To obtain my substitute license and secure some sub jobs periodically from friends and colleagues I have
2.) To obtain my professional license and HOPEFULLY be offered a position for the 2011-2012 school year (that sounds scary!)
I'm already making steady progress on goal #1 and I go in for an interview on Monday! If I can just satisfy my desire and urge to teach a few times a month by subbing, I think I can make it until next school year when I actively pursue my teaching career. By then, AJ will be 3 1/2 and in pre-school, and Aiden will be 1 1/2 and in a daycare program.
I have all my faith in God and I know that he will lead my future and my career on the path he has set for me. It's just the "waiting in the meantime" that is the killer!
Until next time,
Mama Brown(ie)
Here we are in the second to last week of August. What does this mean, nationwide? It's almost Fall, yes. Christmas is right around the corner, yes. Oooh! Halloween? Yes... but no. I'm talking about back to school people!
This is officially the first semester since 2003 that I haven't been in school. (Well, I take that back. I took one semester off when AJ was born. Let's not count that one though.) So everyone is back to school.... except for me. I'm actually kinda-almost-sorta sad about this. This is where the nerdy name calling comes in. Get this: I actually ENJOYED school the past 4 semesters. Yikes! How does that happen? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I truly enjoyed all of my education classes. I enjoyed creating lesson plans, teaching lessons, preparing materials, researching fun activities... and now it's all done with. Just like that. But at least I have a Bachelor's Degree to show for it all.
Which brings me to my next point. Earlier this week I went in and helped my cooperating teacher (from my student teaching) set up her new classroom. :: Cue depression.:: Being in the midst of the excitement of the new school year preparation reminded me of how badly I wish I was setting up my OWN classroom. I have so many cute ideas for my own classroom and at this point, who knows when I will put them to use?
Now that school is starting in one week, (unless there is some miracle of God from CCSD), I'm pretty much out of the running for a teaching position for the 2010-2011 school year. I've been saying that if a position was offered to me, that I would take it... but then I think about how much I missed out on being home with AJ and Aiden while I student taught. It's such a difficult decision for me. I find myself getting all gung-ho and searching for teaching positions in private schools as well as public schools and then I realize that I haven't thought it through all the way. What would I do with the boys? How would the boys do without mama all day long?
I have a few short/long-term goals in mind as far as teaching goes:
1.) To obtain my substitute license and secure some sub jobs periodically from friends and colleagues I have
2.) To obtain my professional license and HOPEFULLY be offered a position for the 2011-2012 school year (that sounds scary!)
I'm already making steady progress on goal #1 and I go in for an interview on Monday! If I can just satisfy my desire and urge to teach a few times a month by subbing, I think I can make it until next school year when I actively pursue my teaching career. By then, AJ will be 3 1/2 and in pre-school, and Aiden will be 1 1/2 and in a daycare program.
I have all my faith in God and I know that he will lead my future and my career on the path he has set for me. It's just the "waiting in the meantime" that is the killer!
Until next time,
Mama Brown(ie)
Friday, August 20, 2010
Sloooow Down!
People always told me that everything with the second child goes much faster than it did with the first child. Maybe it's because you already know what to expect with the 2nd child. Maybe it's because you're so busy chasing the first child all day that the time escapes you. Maybe it's because the first child is moving the hands on the clock which makes it SEEM like the time flies by faster. (Okay, so this is a little far-fetched, but it could happen!)
No matter what the explanation, the fact of the matter is that time REALLY DOES go by much faster with the second child.
My case in point: this little guy!
AB4 is not even six months old yet. Heck, he's barely five and a half months old yet! But he gets up on all fours and rocks back and forth. This tells me that he is about to take flight and start CRAWLING! He is already able to scoot himself to get from point A to point B (and it's pretty funny to watch), but I am nowhere near ready for him to crawl.
I looked back at AB3's baby book to see exactly how old he was when he became mobile, and according to the records, AB3 didn't crawl or scoot until he was 6.5 (almost 7) months old. Which means that AB4 is doing this waaay too soon!
Don't get me wrong, I'm very proud of his strength and determination to start moving, but goodness. I want him to be a baby a little longer! Because AB3 was our first child, we were beginners at this parenting thing. I found myself questioning every decision I made, spent countless minutes researching every little thing about babies, and living in fear of germs attacking my poor little baby. Because of all of these little fears, I found that I wasn't able to fully enjoy all of AB3's baby phase. Each new milestone was a new challenge for me (and him), and I spent more time analyzing it than sitting back and enjoying it.
Which brings us to AB4. Now that we've been around the baby block before, we're much more relaxed. A funny little side-story to support this statement: In June when I was helping work the school carnival during my student teaching, there was a little boy that was playing on a metal folding chair. He tripped on a part of it and hit his head. I gasped (it's the motherly instinct inside of me) and his father reached over, smirked, and said: "Eh, it's okay. He's the second one, so we're not too worried." I couldn't help but laugh, but he was right. Of course you worry, and you care, and you're concerned, but it's nowhere near the level of severity as it was with the first child.
The point of this post is to re-iterate how much more I love and adore the baby stage with AB4. It's like I'm seeing all of his "firsts" through a new set of eyes. It's amazing to me how you can have multiple children, and they each have their own, distinct little personality. Every new little achievement for AB4 brings me personal victory and excitement for him. Even AB3 joins in on the cheers and encourages him when he's trying to do something new.
I will end this post with some lyrics from a song that is a tear jerker for me every single time I hear it because it really puts into perspective how fast the time goes by when you're a parent. So here it is ladies and gentlemen.
"You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins.....
"You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times. So take a good look around. You may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this."
Until Next Time,
Mama Brown(ie)
No matter what the explanation, the fact of the matter is that time REALLY DOES go by much faster with the second child.
My case in point: this little guy!
AB4 is not even six months old yet. Heck, he's barely five and a half months old yet! But he gets up on all fours and rocks back and forth. This tells me that he is about to take flight and start CRAWLING! He is already able to scoot himself to get from point A to point B (and it's pretty funny to watch), but I am nowhere near ready for him to crawl.
I looked back at AB3's baby book to see exactly how old he was when he became mobile, and according to the records, AB3 didn't crawl or scoot until he was 6.5 (almost 7) months old. Which means that AB4 is doing this waaay too soon!
Don't get me wrong, I'm very proud of his strength and determination to start moving, but goodness. I want him to be a baby a little longer! Because AB3 was our first child, we were beginners at this parenting thing. I found myself questioning every decision I made, spent countless minutes researching every little thing about babies, and living in fear of germs attacking my poor little baby. Because of all of these little fears, I found that I wasn't able to fully enjoy all of AB3's baby phase. Each new milestone was a new challenge for me (and him), and I spent more time analyzing it than sitting back and enjoying it.
Which brings us to AB4. Now that we've been around the baby block before, we're much more relaxed. A funny little side-story to support this statement: In June when I was helping work the school carnival during my student teaching, there was a little boy that was playing on a metal folding chair. He tripped on a part of it and hit his head. I gasped (it's the motherly instinct inside of me) and his father reached over, smirked, and said: "Eh, it's okay. He's the second one, so we're not too worried." I couldn't help but laugh, but he was right. Of course you worry, and you care, and you're concerned, but it's nowhere near the level of severity as it was with the first child.
The point of this post is to re-iterate how much more I love and adore the baby stage with AB4. It's like I'm seeing all of his "firsts" through a new set of eyes. It's amazing to me how you can have multiple children, and they each have their own, distinct little personality. Every new little achievement for AB4 brings me personal victory and excitement for him. Even AB3 joins in on the cheers and encourages him when he's trying to do something new.
I will end this post with some lyrics from a song that is a tear jerker for me every single time I hear it because it really puts into perspective how fast the time goes by when you're a parent. So here it is ladies and gentlemen.
"You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins.....
"You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times. So take a good look around. You may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this."
Until Next Time,
Mama Brown(ie)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Follow up to "Loving Two"
** Copied and pasted from my Facebook so that I can look back on it in years to come!**
I felt it was only right to follow up to my last note I wrote about my emotional struggles with having two kids. Just like everybody said, Aiden is so naturally a part of our family that I am beginning to forget what life was like without him. I feel as though we have always been a family of four.
And AJ? He is absolutely over the moon in love with his baby brother. Everything he does revolves around him. His eyes sparkle when he spots his brother first thing in the morning and is very careful to be "gentle" with him. He holds his bottle for him when he's eating. He runs upstairs and brings down his blankets to share with his baby brother. He sits on the couch and asks to hold him while extending his arms. There are no words that can explain the happiness I feel inside when I see the two of them together.
Aiden has become more alert and aware of his surroundings and when AJ is nearby, Aiden is on high alert and studies his brother's face very closely. There is so much love that just radiates between them and I know that they will be the best of friends as they grow up.
Although life with a toddler and a newborn has its fair share of challenges (and sleepless nights for this mama!), I wouldn't trade it for the world. Every second of the day I spend with my little boys reminds me of how blessed Adam and I are to be parents to these little guys.
I felt it was only right to follow up to my last note I wrote about my emotional struggles with having two kids. Just like everybody said, Aiden is so naturally a part of our family that I am beginning to forget what life was like without him. I feel as though we have always been a family of four.
And AJ? He is absolutely over the moon in love with his baby brother. Everything he does revolves around him. His eyes sparkle when he spots his brother first thing in the morning and is very careful to be "gentle" with him. He holds his bottle for him when he's eating. He runs upstairs and brings down his blankets to share with his baby brother. He sits on the couch and asks to hold him while extending his arms. There are no words that can explain the happiness I feel inside when I see the two of them together.
Aiden has become more alert and aware of his surroundings and when AJ is nearby, Aiden is on high alert and studies his brother's face very closely. There is so much love that just radiates between them and I know that they will be the best of friends as they grow up.
Although life with a toddler and a newborn has its fair share of challenges (and sleepless nights for this mama!), I wouldn't trade it for the world. Every second of the day I spend with my little boys reminds me of how blessed Adam and I are to be parents to these little guys.
Loving Two
**This is something I posted on my Facebook a while ago, but I wanted to remember it in years to come, so I am posting it here. If you have read it, then read it again. haha.
Everything about Aiden was planned.
We knew we wanted to give AJ the gift of a sibling to grow up with and someone to share his life with. We knew we wanted to expand our family and share the love we have with our kids for the rest of our lives. What I didn't realize was that the closer we get to meeting Aiden, the more sadness I feel because I know our days of giving AJ all of our attention are numbered. I hate to say I feel guilty, but it's almost as if I do. I don't want AJ to resent me for bringing someone new into our family. Someone who would be more demanding of my time and would have to share my lap when we cuddle. I am beyond overjoyed to be having another baby and am so blessed by such an amazing little gift, but I have been struggling with this feeling the past few days. I just stumbled upon this email I got from a good friend a while back and it immediately brought me peace and comfort. I'm posting this because I know that many of my friends are pregnant with their second child and will be experiencing these same emotions. (My doctor said they are COMPLETELY normal, by the way! Phew!) But if this message could bring you as much comfort as it did me, I would love to share it. So here it is:
Loving Two
I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as youve never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I cant, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. Im afraid to let you see me enjoying him, as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times - only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how he adores you - as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I havent taken something from you, Ive given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you - only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know youll never share my love. Theres enough of that for both of you - you each have your own supply.
I love you - both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
-Author Unknown
Everything about Aiden was planned.
We knew we wanted to give AJ the gift of a sibling to grow up with and someone to share his life with. We knew we wanted to expand our family and share the love we have with our kids for the rest of our lives. What I didn't realize was that the closer we get to meeting Aiden, the more sadness I feel because I know our days of giving AJ all of our attention are numbered. I hate to say I feel guilty, but it's almost as if I do. I don't want AJ to resent me for bringing someone new into our family. Someone who would be more demanding of my time and would have to share my lap when we cuddle. I am beyond overjoyed to be having another baby and am so blessed by such an amazing little gift, but I have been struggling with this feeling the past few days. I just stumbled upon this email I got from a good friend a while back and it immediately brought me peace and comfort. I'm posting this because I know that many of my friends are pregnant with their second child and will be experiencing these same emotions. (My doctor said they are COMPLETELY normal, by the way! Phew!) But if this message could bring you as much comfort as it did me, I would love to share it. So here it is:
Loving Two
I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as youve never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I cant, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. Im afraid to let you see me enjoying him, as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times - only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how he adores you - as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I havent taken something from you, Ive given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you - only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know youll never share my love. Theres enough of that for both of you - you each have your own supply.
I love you - both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
-Author Unknown
Mission Potty Training: Accomplished.
A few months ago, I set out on a mission to potty train AB3. I was armed with Resolve carpet cleaner, a scrub brush, multiple pairs of toddler briefs, and treats galore. That particular mission was very short lived. It's failure can be attributed to the following reasons:
1.) AB4 was a newborn and needy. (Riiiiiiiiiiiight.) It was too hard for me to tend to AB4 and put him down in time to get AB3 to the potty.
2.) Extreme frustration and lack of patience (from me, not AB3)
3.) He just wasn't ready.
Excuses...er.... reasons number 1 & 2 can be easily explained, but I was struggling with validating reason #3. Clearly, AB3 didn't tell me: "Mommy, I'm just not ready to pee pee in the potty." People were so quick to tell me that he should already be potty trained, but they failed to tell me how difficult it would be to do. Because I was about to begin my student teaching, I put the mission on hold until I was done with school. No more homework, no more studying, no more excuses.
Which brings us to August 11th, 2010. 8 days AFTER my student teaching. No more excuses.... I decided on a whim that that would be the day that we start our newest mission. To be very honest, I walked into the mission with complete dread, panic, and expectancy to fail.
Lo and behold, AB3 had something else in mind. After watching the Elmo Potty Time DVD and running around the house completely naked, AB3 decided that he would pee on the carpet while I was upstairs. I walked down and caught him doing this and immediately whisked him into the bathroom to finish his business. He screamed and cried the whole time but I made it such a big deal that he stopped to give me a crazy look and stared into the toilet with me. ("Pee pee in the pot-ty, pee pee in the pot-ty" was my song of choice for those three long days!) After AB3 realized he had done it... he was so proud of himself and excited to eat his 2 M&M mini's as his reward. That first day, we only had 2 accidents. The second day, we had 1. The third day, we had NO accidents! And at this point in time, I think it's safe to announce... wait for it, wait for it...
AB3 is POTTY TRAINED!
::Cue heavenly music::
It's been a long time coming, but I was right when I said that months ago, AB3 just wasn't ready. I don't know what changed inside of him between then and now, but I'm so beyond glad that the switch went off and we're out of diapers. Thank you to all my amazing mommy friends for the encouragement, advice, and support!
But wait. There's more.
Now that my rejoicing of AB3 being potty trained is over... let the sadness enter. AB3 is potty trained. My sweet little AB3, my first born son, my little baby. First he was out of infant clothes. Then he dropped the bottle. Then he left the crib (his wooden one... but he was still in the same house, just in a twin bed), and now he is out of diapers.
Um... what does this mean? Does this "officially" make him a big boy now? I mean look: he sleeps in a "big boy" bed. He eats at the table in his own "big boy" chair. He rides around in a "big boy" car seat. And now he wears "big boy" undies. I can't refer to his undies as "baby" undies because he wouldn't want anything to do with them. And the baby (AB4) has taken over the crib and the high chair, so I can't refer to his twin bed as the "baby" bed, or "baby" chair anymore either. ::Gulp::
This growing up stuff happens waaaaay too fast. Where does the time go? Before you know it, I will be posting about AB4's potty training! <-- Luckily we still have time for all that!
Although AB3 is considered a "big boy" everyway you look at it, he is and always will be, mommy's baby boy. I love you, AJ and am so proud of the "big boy" you are growing up to be. Thank you for making potty training easier this time around. xoxo
Until next time,
Mama Brown(ie)
1.) AB4 was a newborn and needy. (Riiiiiiiiiiiight.) It was too hard for me to tend to AB4 and put him down in time to get AB3 to the potty.
2.) Extreme frustration and lack of patience (from me, not AB3)
3.) He just wasn't ready.
Excuses...er.... reasons number 1 & 2 can be easily explained, but I was struggling with validating reason #3. Clearly, AB3 didn't tell me: "Mommy, I'm just not ready to pee pee in the potty." People were so quick to tell me that he should already be potty trained, but they failed to tell me how difficult it would be to do. Because I was about to begin my student teaching, I put the mission on hold until I was done with school. No more homework, no more studying, no more excuses.
Which brings us to August 11th, 2010. 8 days AFTER my student teaching. No more excuses.... I decided on a whim that that would be the day that we start our newest mission. To be very honest, I walked into the mission with complete dread, panic, and expectancy to fail.
Lo and behold, AB3 had something else in mind. After watching the Elmo Potty Time DVD and running around the house completely naked, AB3 decided that he would pee on the carpet while I was upstairs. I walked down and caught him doing this and immediately whisked him into the bathroom to finish his business. He screamed and cried the whole time but I made it such a big deal that he stopped to give me a crazy look and stared into the toilet with me. ("Pee pee in the pot-ty, pee pee in the pot-ty" was my song of choice for those three long days!) After AB3 realized he had done it... he was so proud of himself and excited to eat his 2 M&M mini's as his reward. That first day, we only had 2 accidents. The second day, we had 1. The third day, we had NO accidents! And at this point in time, I think it's safe to announce... wait for it, wait for it...
AB3 is POTTY TRAINED!
::Cue heavenly music::
It's been a long time coming, but I was right when I said that months ago, AB3 just wasn't ready. I don't know what changed inside of him between then and now, but I'm so beyond glad that the switch went off and we're out of diapers. Thank you to all my amazing mommy friends for the encouragement, advice, and support!
But wait. There's more.
Now that my rejoicing of AB3 being potty trained is over... let the sadness enter. AB3 is potty trained. My sweet little AB3, my first born son, my little baby. First he was out of infant clothes. Then he dropped the bottle. Then he left the crib (his wooden one... but he was still in the same house, just in a twin bed), and now he is out of diapers.
Um... what does this mean? Does this "officially" make him a big boy now? I mean look: he sleeps in a "big boy" bed. He eats at the table in his own "big boy" chair. He rides around in a "big boy" car seat. And now he wears "big boy" undies. I can't refer to his undies as "baby" undies because he wouldn't want anything to do with them. And the baby (AB4) has taken over the crib and the high chair, so I can't refer to his twin bed as the "baby" bed, or "baby" chair anymore either. ::Gulp::
This growing up stuff happens waaaaay too fast. Where does the time go? Before you know it, I will be posting about AB4's potty training! <-- Luckily we still have time for all that!
Although AB3 is considered a "big boy" everyway you look at it, he is and always will be, mommy's baby boy. I love you, AJ and am so proud of the "big boy" you are growing up to be. Thank you for making potty training easier this time around. xoxo
Until next time,
Mama Brown(ie)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Together, we have it all.
Earlier this week I was looking through old boxes of photos and keepsakes I've kept over the years. I found an old Anniversary card that Adam bought me for our 3 year dating anniversary in 2004. "I hope we have many more years together" is something he wrote inside that card. Little did we both know that his hope for many more years would become a reality.
March 2011 will mark 10 years that Adam and I have been together. A whole decade! Wow! Of those 10 years, we've been married for almost 4 of them. I stumbled upon a quote (and you all know how much I love quotes!) yesterday that really sums it all up for me:
We might not have it all together. But together we have it all.
Oh so true! You see, Adam and I live a very ordinary life. We don't go on fancy trips (although we would love to.... so if you have any hook-ups, send them this way!), we don't own fancy things (well, my iPod touch is pretty fancy!), but we are happy in our lives. Our life BC (before children) was the same as it is now, except that now we are rich with children in our home!
A fun day for us includes going to the grocery store together and stopping somewhere for lunch. What may seem like something boring to some is an adventure for us. It's not the easiest task to take a toddler and an infant grocery shopping for a few hours, but yet it's something we look forward to every week. Not only is it necessary (otherwise we wouldn't eat), but it's time that we all spend together. And at the end of the day, that's all I can ask for.
Over the years I've learned that life is not about how much of something you have, but how you spend what you have. What I have is an awesome husband who also doubles as my best friend, a hilarious little 2 1/2 year old boy that truly lights up my life and keeps me laughing, an amazing little 5 month old boy who melts my heart with each smile, coo, and noise he makes, and finally - I have an abundance of love in my heart. I spend this love in my heart by cuddling my babies when they need me, by supporting every decision my husband makes for our family, by remembering to smile each and everyday that I wake up, and by thanking God everyday for this amazing little life I have that makes me rich with love.
By no means do Adam and I have a perfect relationship. Far from it, actually. But it's perfect for us. We are two different people from two different backgrounds that fell in love. We meshed our lives and created new ones. Sure, we argue. Sure, we disagree. Sure, we want to rip our hair out in frustration.... but at the end of the day, we always remember what matters most... and that's the love we have for each other. We're a team in this little journey we call life, and we're in it to win it!
Until Next Time,
Mama Brown(ie)
March 2011 will mark 10 years that Adam and I have been together. A whole decade! Wow! Of those 10 years, we've been married for almost 4 of them. I stumbled upon a quote (and you all know how much I love quotes!) yesterday that really sums it all up for me:
We might not have it all together. But together we have it all.
Oh so true! You see, Adam and I live a very ordinary life. We don't go on fancy trips (although we would love to.... so if you have any hook-ups, send them this way!), we don't own fancy things (well, my iPod touch is pretty fancy!), but we are happy in our lives. Our life BC (before children) was the same as it is now, except that now we are rich with children in our home!
A fun day for us includes going to the grocery store together and stopping somewhere for lunch. What may seem like something boring to some is an adventure for us. It's not the easiest task to take a toddler and an infant grocery shopping for a few hours, but yet it's something we look forward to every week. Not only is it necessary (otherwise we wouldn't eat), but it's time that we all spend together. And at the end of the day, that's all I can ask for.
Over the years I've learned that life is not about how much of something you have, but how you spend what you have. What I have is an awesome husband who also doubles as my best friend, a hilarious little 2 1/2 year old boy that truly lights up my life and keeps me laughing, an amazing little 5 month old boy who melts my heart with each smile, coo, and noise he makes, and finally - I have an abundance of love in my heart. I spend this love in my heart by cuddling my babies when they need me, by supporting every decision my husband makes for our family, by remembering to smile each and everyday that I wake up, and by thanking God everyday for this amazing little life I have that makes me rich with love.
By no means do Adam and I have a perfect relationship. Far from it, actually. But it's perfect for us. We are two different people from two different backgrounds that fell in love. We meshed our lives and created new ones. Sure, we argue. Sure, we disagree. Sure, we want to rip our hair out in frustration.... but at the end of the day, we always remember what matters most... and that's the love we have for each other. We're a team in this little journey we call life, and we're in it to win it!
Until Next Time,
Mama Brown(ie)
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